Meaningful Spirit Day
Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 8:01AM 
I can't really say, "Happy Spirit Day." Because it's nothing to be happy about.
The last few months have seen an epidemic of teens committing suicide in the wake of unmerciful bullying, violence and degradation. Because they were gay, or perceived as gay. Today the caring world wears purple in remembrance. And today I say, along with millions of others, "Enough!" You cannot tell a whole group of people that what they are is wrong. What they are is what they are. Accept it. Children are dying (two of these boys were only 13 years old). You don't have the right to say who or what someone else can be.
I'm going to say something a bit radical for Spirit Day, but I think it needs to be said. It's time to stop pretending, as a society, that we have two groups with differing opinions, and that both opinions are of equal merit. I'm sorry, but that's just not true. If you voted for Proposition 8 in California, you revoked rights from your neighbors. That's not an opinion. It's an act of discrimination. When you feel same-gender marriage is a bit yucky for you to think about, that is an opinion. When you vote to remove your neighbor's rights--my rights--that is a harm. Bullying is not an opinion. It is an act of physical, or emotional, or verbal, or psychic violence. Or all of the above.
I'll bet I can find you someone in this country who still thinks schools should be segregated. Someone who would reverse the integration laws if he could. Shall we call him a fine, honest citizen with a differing opinion? Or shall we call him what he is?
Enough. Enough. Enough. This is America. We are all promised liberty and justice. If you feel that a group of honest Americans do not deserve liberty and justice, that is bigotry. And it's time for bigotry to end. In fact, it's long overdue. But don't take my word for it. Ask the families who have lost their sons. I'm sure they'll say it better than I ever could.
Catherine
I was hoping this wouldn't be necessary, but it clearly is. Please be advised that I will delete any comment that I consider to be intolerant. The litmus test is pretty simple. If it leaves a bad taste in the mouth of the next person to read the blog, if it would make anybody feel bad about him- or herself, it's gone. I'm sure those I delete will scream loudly, but take a hint from the text of the post itself. Expressions of intolerance are unwelcome here, and I will not host them. I may not be able to control the world, I may not be able to control others, but I damn well control my own website. Bet on it.
Reader Comments (5)
Yes!!
Awesome post, and spot on. I will share!
I was just talking to my husband about this...I don't get it, I'll never understand what makes a person feel the need to impose their beliefs of what is "right" and "normal" on anybody else. You're right, this HAS to end....people are DYING!!! To me its almost worse than racism, how often do you hear about someone committing suicide because of their race? Attacking someone because of who they are is self-righteous and hateful.
Good point, Darcy. Here's what I think the difference might be. A person is very rarely alone in his or her race. If nothing else, their family is usually the same race. "They" (people on the outside) might engage in bigotry, but there is perhaps a broader "us" for support. But many gay teens feel utterly alone. They feel that even their own families will reject them if they come out, which is often true. That's why the Trevor Project, "It Gets Better," "Love is Louder," and today's Spirit Day events are so hugely important. We need to reach out to gay teens and help them see that they are not alone.
One thing to add, Darcy. I was thinking last night of watching Wanda Sykes in concert. She is black and gay. She says it's harder to be gay because "you don't have to come out as black." When you are a different race, everybody knows it. Right from the start. If they disapprove, they never come close enough to love you. It's not a secret you hold, fearing that those who love you will stop loving you when they learn the truth of who you are.
This is not to suggest in any way that racism is not plenty bad. And I don't mean to sound like it's a competition. But each minority has its own particular difficulties. And I think you hit a good point when you noticed that the LGBT community is most prone to be driven to suicide.